The Nintendo Wii
THREATDOWN ALERT!! Stephen has put the Wii in the #1 position on the Threatdown for the 2006 holiday season. ]] The Nintendo Wii is a video game system which has motion sensitive controllers which measure all movement relative to Stephen Colbert's current location. Stephen has declared it "quite possibly the most addicting video game of all time." And...guess what nerds? Stephen's gots himself one! Stephen Helped Develop The Wii?! 's Mii in Wii Sports Boxing.]] Stephen's involvement with the development of the Wii can be traced back to his #1 video game for the SNES system, 'Stephen Colbert's Escape From Skateboard Mountain.' Stephen held back on producing a sequel to the beloved game until video game console technology could catch up with his vision for a truly immersive experience where one could forget liberal attacks and just enjoy the endorphin rush that skateboarding can provide. Also he wanted a larger cut of the merchandising tie-in dollars. How else can he buy his yearly fill of marshmallow fluff? According to industry sources, Stephen was recently motion-captured performing some of his sickest skate tricks for 'Stephen Colbert's Return To Skateboard Mountain.' The game may be bundled with Wii, Sony Playstation 3 and Microsoft Xbox 360 consoles for the upcoming holiday season. This game shall also have the highly anticipated multiplayer mode. Now you can skate the Hills of Truth and Ramp of the Eagle Claw with your friends. "One of our competitors is a manufacturer in Japan who wants to capture every one of your entertainment dollars transporting all your content between all of your electronic devices on their memory sticks. We are that company. And there is another company out there who doesn't care what you do, as long as you do it on their operating system. We are that company, too." (we own every company) :- Reginald Fils-Aime, Chief Operating Officer, Nintendo North America Consumer Warnings Several claims have been made of Wii-Remotes slipping out of the sweaty hands of nervous Democrats and hiting items such as their excess Nazi paraphenilia. None of these reports have been confirmed because it is impossible for a true-souled individual to step into a democrat's house and not get murdered or be sucked into the black hole underneath their coffee table. It's scary under there, man. Somebody buy these people a vacuum. The Hidden Killer The Wii the new way to exercise without having to actually do anything. Developed by the Japanese Wiis get Americans off their over sized (insert hip slang) and onto their kanckles and do fun interactive games where they exercise by going down the side of mountains in "Wii Ski" or you can do.......well that is all I have played because I can't afford a one (those Wal-Mart bastards didn't take my monopoly money). But more to the point did you know that "The Wii" is one of the leading causes of Global Warming. The next time you play a wii mid-way down the mountain and stop and think about your surroundings. You'll probably get hot while you play, the reason "The Wii" released carbon emissions into your room, the carbon emissions then cause a green house effect, thus making you feel hot and contributing to Global Warming. If those simple factors are not enough stop playing and note that you cool down. The reason is that your room can heal it's self to a certain extent, but if you keep on playing your "Wii Ski" then it may be more than your room to handle. Time's 100 Most Influential Clearly, the Wii is responsible for catapulting Shigeru Miyamoto to becoming voted the "Most Influential." This only lends more credence to the threat that the Wii poses. Though Steven himself is the only reason the system is still sold out. This means since he controls Nintendo he is therefor the most influential person by default. Also See *Nintendo